My blog is meant to help me release my thoughts and not to hold them up inside, and it eventually kills me. Thus if you think I'm speaking about you, I can't help you. Its MY blog, so I don't really care about your thoughts. If you have thoughts on it, you may write it on your blog. Something called FREEDOM OF SPEECH. Kool.
Growing up, there was always this family who had this power over me. I never understood it, til very recently, when after MANY years, I spoke to someone about the matter, and things got very clear.
Background: Growing up, my family was always close with another family and their younger child was my BESTEST friend in the whole world. The child was my first best friend and meant a lot to me. Til one day, that friendship just ended. We didn't speak anymore, didn't go over each other houses anymore. It was like I went from being someone quite present in that person's life, to being someone COMPLETELY invisible to that person.
It affected me to the point where, whenever I saw the person or that family, I hid figuratively and literally (idk why but I did). Like they had this hold on me, as if I should fear them, cuz of what transpired between the families. This affected me for soooo many years, til it affected me physiologically, especially in my school work, as we went to the same schools growing up, as well as we were involved in the same activities.
I went through different emotions dealing with the "loss" of my bestest friend. Til I came to a great conclusion, where I didn't lose my friend, but they just "tek weh demselves" from my life, and nothing I did caused the separation. As I thought for many years, it was my fault and that this person hated me. I realised that this person was told by one of their parents to stay away from me, not because of what I did, but because of something minor or minuscule which was blown out of proportion, by that parent, and who didn't have the strength to say sorry.
But..... in my 19 years on this earth, each day guided by God, I don't need a "sorry" to get over things anymore, because if I allows someone to have such a great power over me, who's going to suffer.... obviously me.
Thus, forgive those who have done you wrong, its easier said that done, I should know. But if you hold on to that pain or hatred, its like "holding a fireball and expecting the other person to get burned", when its really you who is being harmed.

Peace & Love
-Chialine <3

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