I'm Off Men....

17:58:00

HELLO, NO I'M NOT TURNING TO WOMEN. ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND? HELL NO. No offence to lesbians and bisexuals.
Anything I say on my blog can and likely will eventually be used against me. As is what usually happens in my life, when I open up to people; but anything I do post here can be used against me if you want. BUT it wont affect me in anyway and any form because its in the past. 
Anyways....
I've never been one of those girls who have 100 and odd boyfriends a month or even a year. In my 19 years on this year, I've had 4 boyfriends, wow right. I know. The longest being 11 months. Thus you would conclude I don't date often. Primarily because most boys don't live up to my qualification, yes I said qualification....its a long list( jk, well not really, its an internal thing). In my view, if I can't see you as my husband in the long run, "deveen badda a continue a chat to you". So when I do meet a guy who I really like, and he rejects me, it affects me greatly. I've gotten over the rejections, but its not like an over night thing, it involves crying in my bed and a lot of talking to myself, and psycho analyzing myself on what I did. This also happens when a guy shows he likes me a lot but we can go days of not talking, because unless in most cases, unless I say hi, I hear nothing from him. So I'm confused.
THUS, I've decided to take a break from guys(not as friends) and deal with me, because I know I have an issue with rejection and such things. Though these things don't affect my school work, it does affect my psyche to the point where, when I have a free time, it flocks my mind and the over-analyzing occurs and slightly hampers my positive mood. So no guys for a while. I'm gonna sort out me for a while, with God's help of course.
I understand rejection is all apart of life, but there must be a better way of dealing with it. Thus I gotta figure this out on my own.
P.S I do not believe all guys are the same, I just know I have issues that need to be sorted out. Good.

Peace & Love
-Chialine <3

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