Doing Fine All By Myself!


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Growing up a female, I always heard statements like,  "one day you gonna get married, because you are so pretty, which man wouldn't want you" OR "you are gonna be such a beautiful bride" OR " when you find the love of your life....etc etc".... and to be honest, I think those statements and others confused my mind set for many years. Like I need a man to have a good life, or yes I'm gonna soon find a man who I can build a life with.  So for a long time, my mind was like oh yeah chiann you need a man in your life, and thanks to a good friend (J.C.K) who didn't say it directly to me but she talks a lot and said this statement a lot, it finally stuck with me. This statement being that " Man is a want NOT a need." I wish someone had told me this initially instead of filling up my head with garbage.

I have taken this statement to heart, mind, and body, everywhere lol, and I believe I have become a stronger person emotionally and psychologically. I have decided to be content all by myself. Single for 1 year and 7 months now, and every day I am becoming more independent as life progresses. I have decided that if I want a good life, I need to kindly build it myself with God by my side. Not waiting for a guy to come along to build one with me.

I hear some many women talking about they want a " car man".... NOPE. Keep the man, I only want the car, the ability to go where I need to go in a car that I own and not have to worry about the possibility that I will get kicked out of the car or not have this "car man" anymore and revert to #buslife, which isn't a bad life, to be honest. The ability to be OK  hanging out with yourself and not feeling weird or bothered when no one texts you for the whole day. Running errands by yourself. Recently, I went to Half way tree by myself, because I had things to get done and most of my friends were busy. I took my bus and did what I needed to do. It was an uplifting moment. Coming from someone who anywhere I needed to go I wanted company and if I didn't have the company I wouldn't go; to someone whose very content getting up and heading on the road to get whatever is needed to be done, by myself.

I think my life lessons have brought me to this point in my life, and though most have been heart-wrenching, painful moments, I RISE STRONGER AND BETTER THAN I WAS BEFORE.
And don't get me wrong, I still date and such, but now it doesn't affect my mental state or life like it used to when I was younger. THANK GOD FOR THIS.

May this post of me just opening up about my journey of independence and men, help anyone who feels like they are very dependent on people or they feel like they need a man in their life to be ok. Know that independence starts with you and my dear, man is not a need, they are a want. So focus on yourself, make yourself better, and when the time is right, the right guy will come your way. "Happy like seh u get a visa today" LOL.

*P.S. Hope this is not taken in a negative light, but if so....OH WELL, start your own blog bruh. lmao :p


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  1. Keep the man I only want the car lol thats what I need to start saying now. I almost feel like this post was confirmation to what Ive been saying and talking to God about for a few weeks now. U literally described me in this post... I always felt I needed someone to follow me when I was running errands but since the year started Ive honestly became my own woman doing my things without anyone beside me. Ive learnt to become content with myself and learn to smile on days even when no one hits me up and whatsapp. Ive also been turning down guys now who had the money and the car because I knew that they couldnt match up with me on the spiritual level. And trust me no car man nah go carry u all over the place without him getting a little "appreciation". So im just here in my own corner minding my business, grinding at skl and praising God till he open his floodgates of blessing and shows me my bae. But im glad im not the only one whos been feeling this type a way. TFS!!!

    1. Yow I love when you comment on my posts. When i wrote this I felt like maybe it would help someone....and it did. YAAY! Babylove, man is not important at the moment. Build yourself and do better for yourself. the right mad man will come your way. (they are all mad in some way and some form). :D




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